Archive | August 2012

Volunteer!

Aug14

Are you looking for a way to fit in, to feel needed, to make a difference? VOLUNTEER!

One of the fastest ways to find like-minded friends is to join a cause you feel strongly about. Use your talents to make the world a better place, and find self respect and self esteem.

Look around your neighborhood. Are there shut-ins or elderly who would appreciate a visit or call? Helping them with errands may be greatly appreciated. Perhaps a young mother could use some help with her children, or a family with one parent some assistance in the yard.

Do you attend a church? I belong to a lay church where I’ve served in a variety of volunteer positions in music, teaching children and cub scouts, and serving the youth. Perhaps you know of some church members needing assistance. Ask the leaders in charge if they know of some service opportunities.

There may be needy people in your area that could use a hand. One fun thing to do is to leave a needed but anonymous gift! I especially enjoy doing this at Christmastime, but any time can be rewarding when you know that what you give is needed and appreciated.  Even a plate of cookies with a friendly note to a neighbor helps build a sense of community.

Do you have strong political opinions? Volunteers are in demand to make phone calls, put up flyers and signs, and offer assistance. I served as precinct chair and vice-chair, as a county delegate, and in helping specific candidates.

Hospitals love volunteers. I worked as a Candy Striper as a youth, filling water containers and bringing ice to patients in their rooms. They often wanted company more than ice water.

Crisis centers need people to answer phones and take calls. I worked as a volunteer in a crisis center in college.

Soup kitchens and homeless shelters welcome volunteers. Women’s shelters invite assistance in gathering clothing, food, and supplies for infants, women and children of all ages.

The American Red Cross seeks volunteers.   

Name indexing of public records helps people connect world-wide in finding their ancestors. I’ve indexed names from Germany, Mexico, and the United States, from ancient parish and city records, census records, and immigration records. Even shut-ins can make an important contribution doing this.

Retirement centers and nursing homes welcome visitors. For four years my singing group of bell ringers visited the sick and elderly all year long, performing beautiful music to brighten their world. My grandfather and other home residents now enjoy weekly visits from those with service dogs.

There are many ways to volunteer. What interests you? Do you want to help people locally or abroad? What talents or skills might you enjoy sharing to bless the lives of others?

One way to heal from past trauma or abuse is to help others. Serving those who have gone through similar trials can help us overcome anxieties. If you would like personalized assistance in finding ways to volunteer, please contact me.

Find a Talent!

Aug9

Are you searching for ways to feel better about yourself? One thing that builds self-esteem is to find a talent!

Music is what feelings sound like

Do you have a talent for music? Listening or playing? For yourself, others, both?

Music is one of my talents. Beginning notes turned into beautiful melodies. I didn’t always enjoy practice, but enjoyed playing songs. Despite no money for lessons, I practiced and people offered to teach me or arranged for lessons. Playing and singing music is an emotional outlet, providing enjoyment. I serve others through music, and pass on the talent to piano students.

Need ideas for your own talents? First, what do you enjoy doing? What kinds of things do you like? Working with your hands? Music, art, reading? Sewing? Helping others? Dancing, sports or the outdoors? Make a list of the types of things you enjoy doing now, as well as those you have enjoyed in the past.

Second, for what do people compliment you? What do you feel you do well? Do others say you have a flair for fashion, dressing and accessorizing well? Do your friends thank you for being a good listener? Do they say you have a great garden?

Growing a Garden

“A volunteer sunflower made its appearance. We decided to let it grow and see …” ~Kathey-frommywindow.blogspot.com

Maybe they rave over your colorful walls and interior decor that you just completed. Or they love it when you cook, and always beg you for the recipe. Write down everything you can think of that you’ve done and others commented positively about it.

Third, what would you like to do if you didn’t have to do anything? If you could spend time doing anything you wanted, what would you do? Write? Speak? Perform? Create? Alone or with a group? Who would you do it with or for? Jot down any ideas that come to mind. (Pretend money is not a factor because there’s a way if it’s important).

Talents need not be public to be valuable. Perhaps you make and keep lifelong friends, and have a talent for strong relationships. Maybe you are great with children. You might know just what to say to someone who is going through a difficult time. Whatever you enjoy and are good at doing, is a valuable talent for you. Perhaps a talent comes easily and naturally to you, like solving complicated math problems or fixing a car.

Compare your lists. What stands out? What do you feel most excited about? Circle those items you feel the strongest about, or that are repeated more than once. From those circles, choose which ones you would seriously like to pursue. What will bring you the most joy and fulfillment?

Once you’ve decided on a talent to pursue, make a plan to develop it. Will developing this talent mean taking lessons? Will you want to schedule classes? Does it require practice in order to enjoy it more? Perhaps it is something you already do, and now can appreciate it as your TALENT.

Now that you know what talents you want to pursue, put your plan into ACTION!

Find a Talent!

So use the talents He has given you to the fullest and make every day as important as the next. Everyone has different talents. If we we were all the same, the world would be a very boring place.” ~Gypsy-Sisters.com/profiles/

If you would like guidance in finding your unique talents, you are welcome to contact me for personal assistance.

Healthy Food for Health

Aug8

The Healthy Eating Pyramid

Do you connect eating healthy food with feeling good? Healthy eating habits make a big difference in how we feel about ourselves, physically and emotionally. Not only how we look, but mental and physical health. Have you ever pigged out on something you knew wasn’t good for you, only to feel sick later? I have! One thing that can trigger ill health or negative emotions is eating too much sugar.

Fresh-picked vine-ripened SWEET Strawberries!

Eating the right kinds of sugars keeps our brains and bodies going. Foods too high in glycemic response increase blood sugars rapidly then spike insulin levels, resulting in low blood sugar. After I had children that I couldn’t physically handle sugar like I had previously. If I ate refined sugar, I became the Wicked Witch of the West! But there are good sugars , like fruit, sweet potato, and sweet garden tomatoes.

First Crop 2012

Yummy tomatoes from my garden!

Sugars are one thing, but what about fats? Are some fats healthier than others? Fats in their natural state tend to be healthier than processed fats, such as hydrogenated oils like shortening, or fried foods with trans-fatty acids. Naturally fatty foods like avocados, eggs, olives, coconut, raw nuts, when eaten in balance with the rights carbs (sugars) and protein form part of a healthy, balanced diet.

Which leads to the third type of nutrient, protein. Protein in its natural state is healthier. Animal sources should be clean from unnecessary hormones or antibiotics, and fed clean feed– lean organic meat is safest. Vegetarian sources of protein include nuts, seeds, grains, legumes, and vegetables for complete proteins.

Do you have a vegetable garden? Picking your home-grown produce to eat fresh is a treat! The active enzymes and natural sugar content of just-picked fruits and vegetables, ripened on the plant then popped into your mouth, makes all the effort of gardening worthwhile. Growing a natural, organic garden increases the vitamin and mineral content of the food, and avoids harmful chemicals. Organic foods can also be purchased, but sometimes are picked green for shipping. Nothing beats picking it off the vine and eating it picked fully ripe and fresh! Try it if you don’t believe it.
Fresh fruits and vegetables also hydrate the body. So does filtered or spring water. Do you drink enough water? One recommendation is to drink at least half your body weight (lbs.) in ounces every day.

Even with proper nutrition and hydration, getting nutrients to every cell of the body requires something more–exercise.   The lymphatic system has nothing to circulate it but our movement, so for optimal health some form of movement or massage is necessary.

Knowing about healthy food and nutrition is not the same as doing it! I write this article as a reminder of what to eat to feel healthier. Please contact me if you would like greater support in making healthy choices.

Meditation for Healing the Inner Child

Aug7

Listen to your inner child

Are you looking to feel more peace, less stress, and more self-confidence? Healing meditation may be just the thing to regain balance in thoughts and emotions. This is an imagery meditation for healing the inner child.

First, choose a peaceful place where you can be undisturbed and by yourself for a few minutes. Turn off the phone and focus on YOU. A balanced, healthy self is foundational to everything else you do. Think of this as time wisely invested.

Get comfortable, uncross arms or legs to an open position. Your eyes may be open or closed. Relax. Take some deep, slow breaths. Notice your breathing. Breathe more deeply.

Notice your thoughts and emotions. How are you feeling right now? Take another deep breath, and let it out. Continue to breathe deeply and evenly.

Imagine yourself as a very small child, perfect and whole as the day you were born, with pure love for yourself and all those around you. See that loving child carried in your heart, feeling and wanting good things for you and for everyone.

What would that loving inner child tell you about yourself? What good things does your inner child like and admire about you? What do you most admire about this sweet little child? Tell your inner child what you most love about them. What do you miss about being an innocent little child?

Imagine that you ARE this little child. What do you most want to do? As a child, what sounds fun? As an adult, what would your inner child most enjoy doing? What makes you feel alive? Think of this inner child as part of you, close to your heart. What will bring out their joy? Do you have talents or hobbies you’d like to begin or start again?

Imagine being your inner child. Consider how important to this small child physical needs are–good food, water, resting when tired, going outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air, running around to play. See yourself outdoors, doing what you love to do. What physical activities do you most enjoy? See yourself resting or sleeping when tired from a busy, active day. Think of waking–what kinds of foods would make your body feel most alert and alive, healthy and vibrant? What sounds the most delicious? Now see that child as part of you, the adult. Are you honoring the physical needs of your inner child? What does your inner child tell you would give you balance and make you both happy?

Take some deep breaths. Slowly become aware of your surroundings. Take another deep breath. Notice how you feel. Do you feel more calm and serene? Does life seem more promising and inviting? Take a few minutes to write what you learned about yourself and your inner child.

If you would like further assistance in healing meditation and in healing your inner child, please contact me. I am not a therapist. I am experiencing my own healing journey and happily share what helps me.

Self Esteem Building Activities for Former Victims of Child Domestic Abuse

Aug2

Are you a former victim of child domestic abuse? Do you struggle to feel good about yourself as an adult? Perhaps you hear voices in your head of names you were called, or discouraging experiences replay in your mind. How can you get past all that to feel good about yourself?

Here are some Self Esteem Building Activities just for you!

Before sharing these activities, please know that I am writing from my own experience. As a former victim of verbal and emotional child abuse, I had a lot of baggage as an adult. This was compounded by difficult marriage situations. In my second marriage, my husband sometimes treated me the way my father treated me as a child. It wasn’t until I reclaimed my self respect that I learned the proper way to treat myself. My first step was to respect and love myself.

How do we respect and love ourselves, when we don’t believe (or at least doubt) that we are worth anything?

I found my answer in the scriptures. I knew that it was a commandment of God to love HIM, and to love others (see Matthew 22:36-40). I tried to do this, but seemed to be failing miserably, especially in my own family! Then, as I searched those verses more carefully, I found a section I hadn’t paid attention to: “Thou shalt love thy neighbor AS THYSELF.” Wow! It was actually a commandment to love MYSELF!

Now, how to do that? I decided my first step was to treat MYSELF as if I were my own neighbor, my own best friend. If my best friend had a difficult day, would I criticize her? NO!!! I would encourage and help her recognize the good she did. I changed the way I talked to myself.

Second, I began to take care of my body and appearance. For me, this meant sleeping early hours. I included regular exercise as part of each day. I cut back on junk foods and began to eat fresh fruits and vegetables, whole grains, nuts, seeds, legumes, lean protein. I dressed and groomed for each day, dressing my hair and wearing attractive clothes and makeup.

Third, I began developing my talents. I loved music, so I took voice lessons and joined a group of singers who sang at rest homes and played handbells.

Fourth, I looked for ways to serve others, such as singing. I paid better attention to the needs of my children and husband, realizing that Charity Begins at Home.

Four Self Esteem Building Activities:
1.    Treat myself as if I am my own best friend
2.    Take care of my body and appearance
3.     Develop talents

4.    Serve others, beginning at home

If you found this helpful, I would love to hear from you! Please share your experiences. If you would like additional support and ideas, feel welcome to contact me about building self-esteem.

How do you undo verbal child abuse?

Aug1

Do you feel anxious or depressed? Were you verbally abused as a child? Do negative labels or false ideas about yourself or your abilities limit you? How do you undo verbal child abuse?

Long after a person says cruel, untrue things, the effects can live on in our minds. Unless we take positive steps to change our thoughts!

For example, my father in his frustration when I was a child said hurtful things that I found lingered on as false beliefs when an adult, creating holes in my self-confidence. I worried others  would find out about the REAL me (actually false, projected by my father’s paranoid delusional fears). He told me to look him in his eyes–as if he could see my true soul–then accused me of being evil. For years I didn’t want to look ANYONE in the eyes, fearful they would see what my father saw!

As an adult, I realized logically that my father projected his own fears and insecurities, but emotionally I still felt worthless. It seemed nothing I did countered this, whether getting straight A’s, college scholarships, or trying to be a good wife and mother. I inwardly worried that what my dad saw when he looked in my eyes was true.

It was difficult to be a good wife or mother while I carried negative inner fears and self-labels. I selected husbands (married twice) who fed upon my insecurities. Marital drama got in the way of my being the kind of mother or providing the kind of home for my children that I wanted. I went through the motions of being a stay-at-home mother and even homeschooling, but the unrest affected my children. I didn’t pass on the same type of abuse, but the anger and despair they witnessed in me did a lot of damage. I was not as emotionally available to them, caught up in inner turmoil.

One thing that helped change my self-view was joining a self-help group for nervous or anxious people. Dr. Abraham Low   taught nervous persons to become self-sufficient, warding off panic or anxiety by changing their thoughts. Attending those meetings taught me better thinking habits. I learned to identify and gradually change false ideas about myself. I learned to stop responding as a victim– to monitor and refocus thoughts before they got out of control.

I studied Family Life, where I learned model ways of family interaction and parenting. I read helpful books, and saw professional therapists who helped me further unravel false patterns.

What can YOU do to move forward and change old patterns and beliefs that disrupt your life? Excellent therapists can assist.  Books and classes may help.   I am not a therapist, but if you would like empathic guidance please contact me for your free 30-minute phone interview to see if you are ready for greater light. Are you ready to change your thoughts and let go of the past to find your inner truth? A better life awaits!