Tag Archive | create

Sending the Right Message

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Jay and I want success for our upcoming marriage!

We appreciate all of the tools and attitude adjustments possible to help us make our adventure together into matrimony one that is joyous throughout our lifetime. We each want to do our part to be accountable for what we create. We also want to avoid pitfalls and mistakes of the past.

So last weekend we especially enjoyed attending a workshop, “Sending the Right Message,” (STRM) by John Canaan. We’ve been to a lot of workshops before, individually and as a couple, and this was my first time at this workshop, while a re-take for Jay. He hadn’t told me too much about it, except that it had opened his heart.

We really appreciated what we experienced there and came away feeling empowered and inspired. What struck me most deeply was that my life is really my choice. While I don’t always choose what happens around me, I DO choose my reactions to it. This includes my thoughts and feelings, actions, and how long I hold on to or cycle these.

All of us make mistakes, so we need a way to unburden ourselves from the guilt. We can’t always make restitution for our errors, either. This class is Christ-centered, explaining that Jesus Christ came to earth exactly for the purpose of redeeming us from our sins and paying them for us through His suffering, knowing we couldn’t make amends for everything. [If you are not a Christian, you may turn to your own beliefs and Higher Power to assist you with this concept of relief from guilt.] Christ not only paid for our own sins, but also for those of the people who hurt and betray us. When we hold grudges against them or retaliate, we hurt ourselves more and cause Christ more suffering. By forgiving them, it doesn’t mean that what they did was not wrong, but rather that we leave judgment to God and allow that person their own experience. We also release ourselves from the poison acid of resentment that hurts us more than it affects them. 12893946-closeup-of-a-representation-of-the-jesus-christ-crown-of-thorns-cross-and-nail

Jay and I are NOT perfect people! We have each seen the other get ‘triggered’ (overwhelmed by negative emotions) in various settings. Sometimes it has been by what the other has done, sometimes by others around us. It is important that we have a way to deal with these upsets as they arise, and not allow them to damage our relationship. By accepting Christ’s Atonement, we forgive ourselves for being human with fears and insecurities that trigger us in reminder situations, and we also forgive others when they act as less than their best selves.

I actually got upset during the workshop with reminder symptoms from prior bad relationship experiences. Jay let me cry on his shoulder, and John Canaan had me write about my feelings and thoughts, asking me to record on paper what the situation reminded me of and to describe my feelings and thoughts about that, then what those reminded me of, and so forth. By doing this, I traced it back to childhood hurts and feeling betrayed and abandoned by loved ones then and later.

John said that we are all very good at sending messages! People get exactly what we mean! The problem is that this message is not necessarily very nice. Because our hearts are filled with negative emotions like fear, mistrust, or resentment, we tend to send defensive or offensive messages. The RIGHT message is LOVE. Only when our hearts are filled with LOVE will we send the RIGHT message.

I learned invaluable ways to fill my heart with LOVE, the simplest of which is to BE STILL and connect with God until I feel whole and complete. Then to SERVE. We LOVE those we SERVE.

This is definitely something Jay and I can use to improve our marriage!

John has a wonderful program, and taught us nine Agreements to make with ourselves in order to be accountable for what we create with our own life. I create my world!

Jay and I signed up for the Mastery 10-week program, which gives one week for each of the Agreements with daily support and a class each week. This will be a retake for Jay, and I want to take it with him. It will be interesting to see how my perspective evolves as by then we will be newlyweds of two-and-a-half months.

I am so excited to be on this grand adventure of life and of marriage with Jay. I feel very humble and blessed to have him as my companion, because he dotes on me! Wow! We hope that with these tools we can keep our love as fresh and vibrant as it is now. We cherish our time together. I look forward of sending Jay a lifetime of the RIGHT messages: “I LOVE you!” and “I love SERVING you!” His happiness is my happiness. I delight in ways to bring him greater joy.

He always seems a step ahead of me in serving each other, so it is a fun game we play together. “I win!” when Jay feels loved! And vice versa. Actually, we both win. We win because we both feel loved and supported. This in turn helps all others we interact with to win: our children, my parents (Jay’s are deceased), our grandchildren, our friends and neighbors, even the people we meet on the street or while shopping. Because when we are connected to each other and to God, our hearts are filled with LOVE and we are sending the RIGHT message to each other and to everyone: L-O-V-E.forever-love-holding-shape-together-mean-loving-each-other-36033051

 

Following My Dreams

Do you ever have dreams? Day dreams? Night dreams? Do they ever come true?

I want to share a few of my dreams with you. I’ll start with night dreams, and then day dreams.

Night Dreams that came true

On March 8, 2014, I lived alone in an apartment, and woke from a dream of living in my own home. This very vivid dream showed many people in and out of my home downstairs over time and for various reasons, and then I saw myself writing Christmas cards in my upstairs office. I dreamed that this home was several homes away from friends of mine, on the opposite side of the block from their house. In the dream, the houses were symbolized like Monopoly houses, so I could easily count them and see where my house was from that of my friends.

When I awoke, I remembered a home in that exact location, for sale! On March 21, 2014, I looked through the inside of that house for the first time, and the layout was exactly as in my dream! I immediately made an offer and put down earnest money, as I knew I belonged here.

Now I have lived here nearly a year. People coming and going during that time included piano students and recitals,

Halloween 2014 Recital

Halloween Recital

weekly church choir practices, business meetings, and family and friends. I know I am where I am for a reason, and feel very blessed.

Another night dream occurred March 18, 2015. I dreamed that a friend and I, among others, were eating breakfast with a great business coach at his house. This was on the morning of the first day of a four-day event by this same coach, and the friend in the dream attended with me. On the way to the real event, I spoke with my friend about the dream. I just thought, “I don’t know how THAT would ever happen!”

The fourth day of this event, March 21, 2015, this coach announced that everyone who signed up for his program to promote individual businesses through making weekly videos for three months, would have breakfast at HIS house! Recognizing my dream, I immediately went and signed up for the program! At the back of the room doing paperwork, I thought, “My friend is supposed to be there with me. I wonder if that part will really happen.” Then the coach announced that those who signed up with a friend got a special discount, and my friend came back to sign up with me! We have been making videos for a few weeks now, and on our paths to making Day dreams come true!

Day dreams

What are YOUR Day dreams? Do you write them down? Do you picture what your life will be like when they come true?

My path leads me to get my messages to YOU! To created videos, CDs and books to share what I have learned so that YOU can perhaps avoid some of the pitfalls and grab hold of the hope, habits and systems that helped me. My path of influence makes sense of the injustices of life, and finds their purpose in sharing hard-won lessons. So I speak, blog, and create. I accept my inborn desire to share, write, and teach others the joy that creates a New Joyful Life.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Many more helpful habits, systems, and healing perspectives follow this post.

Have a blessed day.

~Katherine

P.S. To see some of the videos I’m creating, go to my Facebook page, NEW JOYFUL LIFE.