Tag Archive | healing

Sending the Right Message

Jay and I want success for our upcoming marriage!

We appreciate all of the tools and attitude adjustments possible to help us make our adventure together into matrimony one that is joyous throughout our lifetime. We each want to do our part to be accountable for what we create. We also want to avoid pitfalls and mistakes of the past.

So last weekend we especially enjoyed attending a workshop, “Sending the Right Message,” (STRM) by John Canaan. We’ve been to a lot of workshops before, individually and as a couple, and this was my first time at this workshop, while a re-take for Jay. He hadn’t told me too much about it, except that it had opened his heart.

We really appreciated what we experienced there and came away feeling empowered and inspired. What struck me most deeply was that my life is really my choice. While I don’t always choose what happens around me, I DO choose my reactions to it. This includes my thoughts and feelings, actions, and how long I hold on to or cycle these.

All of us make mistakes, so we need a way to unburden ourselves from the guilt. We can’t always make restitution for our errors, either. This class is Christ-centered, explaining that Jesus Christ came to earth exactly for the purpose of redeeming us from our sins and paying them for us through His suffering, knowing we couldn’t make amends for everything. [If you are not a Christian, you may turn to your own beliefs and Higher Power to assist you with this concept of relief from guilt.] Christ not only paid for our own sins, but also for those of the people who hurt and betray us. When we hold grudges against them or retaliate, we hurt ourselves more and cause Christ more suffering. By forgiving them, it doesn’t mean that what they did was not wrong, but rather that we leave judgment to God and allow that person their own experience. We also release ourselves from the poison acid of resentment that hurts us more than it affects them. 12893946-closeup-of-a-representation-of-the-jesus-christ-crown-of-thorns-cross-and-nail

Jay and I are NOT perfect people! We have each seen the other get ‘triggered’ (overwhelmed by negative emotions) in various settings. Sometimes it has been by what the other has done, sometimes by others around us. It is important that we have a way to deal with these upsets as they arise, and not allow them to damage our relationship. By accepting Christ’s Atonement, we forgive ourselves for being human with fears and insecurities that trigger us in reminder situations, and we also forgive others when they act as less than their best selves.

I actually got upset during the workshop with reminder symptoms from prior bad relationship experiences. Jay let me cry on his shoulder, and John Canaan had me write about my feelings and thoughts, asking me to record on paper what the situation reminded me of and to describe my feelings and thoughts about that, then what those reminded me of, and so forth. By doing this, I traced it back to childhood hurts and feeling betrayed and abandoned by loved ones then and later.

John said that we are all very good at sending messages! People get exactly what we mean! The problem is that this message is not necessarily very nice. Because our hearts are filled with negative emotions like fear, mistrust, or resentment, we tend to send defensive or offensive messages. The RIGHT message is LOVE. Only when our hearts are filled with LOVE will we send the RIGHT message.

I learned invaluable ways to fill my heart with LOVE, the simplest of which is to BE STILL and connect with God until I feel whole and complete. Then to SERVE. We LOVE those we SERVE.

This is definitely something Jay and I can use to improve our marriage!

John has a wonderful program, and taught us nine Agreements to make with ourselves in order to be accountable for what we create with our own life. I create my world!

Jay and I signed up for the Mastery 10-week program, which gives one week for each of the Agreements with daily support and a class each week. This will be a retake for Jay, and I want to take it with him. It will be interesting to see how my perspective evolves as by then we will be newlyweds of two-and-a-half months.

I am so excited to be on this grand adventure of life and of marriage with Jay. I feel very humble and blessed to have him as my companion, because he dotes on me! Wow! We hope that with these tools we can keep our love as fresh and vibrant as it is now. We cherish our time together. I look forward of sending Jay a lifetime of the RIGHT messages: “I LOVE you!” and “I love SERVING you!” His happiness is my happiness. I delight in ways to bring him greater joy.

He always seems a step ahead of me in serving each other, so it is a fun game we play together. “I win!” when Jay feels loved! And vice versa. Actually, we both win. We win because we both feel loved and supported. This in turn helps all others we interact with to win: our children, my parents (Jay’s are deceased), our grandchildren, our friends and neighbors, even the people we meet on the street or while shopping. Because when we are connected to each other and to God, our hearts are filled with LOVE and we are sending the RIGHT message to each other and to everyone: L-O-V-E. forever-love-holding-shape-together-mean-loving-each-other-36033051

Energy Work Rocks!!!

May21

I Love Energy Work!

Recently I hired an energy coach. Just this week she helped me to release issues that still triggered upset feelings from when I was fifteen: the year I crashed on my bike, was humiliated in front of my friends that I lived with when my family moved, and met my future husband who wore a mask and wasn’t who he pretended to be. In earlier sessions, I released negative emotions and false beliefs from myself with experiences and feelings at ages eight, five, three, and even at conception. Last night as I explained to a friend how much I valued this, they were unfamiliar with energy workers and what they do. Today I’m writing not only to them, but to you so that you too can better understand why ENERGY WORK ROCKS!!!

Why Do We Need Energy Work?

As tiny children and throughout our early lives especially, all of us make judgments about ourselves, those around us, the world, and God as we try to make sense of our experiences. Our three-year-old child inside us still runs a lot of our programs, based on those judgments. Unless we examine those programs and identify false beliefs we adopted as little children, we subconsciously continue to use them as facts which govern our lives. These are not only ideas, but we also carry and store corresponding emotions in various parts of our bodies: trapped emotions never resolved. We were too young, or there were too many things going on during trauma or difficult periods of our lives, to see clearly or to resolve the emotions or judgments. Those can be seeds of dis-ease for wherever the negative emotions get stored in the body.

What Is an Energy Worker? Why Do I Need One?

An “energy worker” is simply someone who helps us identify those areas and beliefs and resolve them, bringing to light the false belief and helping us decide to release (forgive, repent of) the negative energy we’ve carried. Hence, “energy” worker. You can identify your own areas, but that is like being your own doctor when you are wounded. It is helpful to have a third party, skilled observer guiding the process of identifying and releasing the false belief. It is an accountability, examining what we’ve always assumed to be true with an unbiased person who can more clearly see the falseness of the belief, because they do not have the emotional baggage associated with it.

What Does an Energy Worker Do?

An energy worker help us recognize the falseness of a belief (we all carry some false core beliefs, such as: I am unlovable. I am unworthy. I am not good enough. I am not smart enough.). An energy worker notices things that “trigger” us, or which cause us to become emotional, such as sad, weepy, angry, etc. when thinking of the past, and then aids us in deciding to release the false judgment and negative emotion.

Is Energy Work Valid?

I am not trained as an energy worker, but in my opinion what the good ones do is every bit as scientific and valid as a licensed therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist. In my experience, energy work has been much more effective. Because energy workers are not licensed or regulated, one needs to be careful in selecting someone with the Spirit of truth, light and discernment, as well as skilled at getting to the root of emotional and health energy blockages. There are many different training schools and modalities. I was only on the receiving end, benefiting from the experience and training of others. I know this worked much better and faster for me than traditional therapy, which I also tried. Cognitive recognition helped but didn’t release the attached emotions. A lot of traditional therapy seemed to be about discussing why I was messed up and what happened to mess me up without really solving anything or giving me hope I could ever be any better. It was more like a blaming session (it’s my parents’ fault!) than about understanding myself and seeing others and the situations with love and compassion, as I do during energy sessions.

How to Find an Energy Worker

It is easy to Google just about anything you want, but I personally like a referral from people I know when seeking a health practitioner, whether traditional or alternative. If no one you know uses energy workers, some places to start are Reiki, Dr. Bradley Nelson’s Emotion Code and Body Code, and programs such as The Awakening, which I took with my mother to clear generational issues. Best wishes to you on your own path to healing and wholeness!

Energy Work Works!

When I was fifteen and crashed on my bike, I made subconscious judgments, blaming my friends whom I was racing to catch up to for abandoning me, leaving me behind. I felt humiliated when my friends silently witnessed a boy who previously liked me telling me in front of them that he was no longer interested in me in any romantic way. I was deceived by my first husband right from the time I met him, and later judged myself as stupid for not noticing his personality changes and seeing through his disguise.

This week I realized for the first time, with help from my experienced energy worker, that these issues still bothered me and were blocking my self-acceptance and ability to move forward with confidence. With her help, I let go of anger and judgments not only against myself and the people involved, but against God. I subconsciously blamed Him and didn’t trust Him to help me since He allowed these things to happen! I didn’t even realize until working with my energy coach how I blamed God for so many things! I let go of those feelings and judgments against Him, myself, and others.

Energy work is a healing process, with layers. It’s interesting to me that I’ve had issues come up from conception (I felt abandoned by my sister for not coming to earth with me as my twin–she decided to let me go first, following me sixteen months later; no wonder I was always jealous of twins!), as well as a young girl. This week was all about being fifteen, of which I hadn’t given much conscious thought. Another layer of judgments and negative emotions resolved! Whoo hoo!

After my sessions, during which I usually cry off all my makeup, I feel lighter, with more energy and peace! I feel healthier, as I’ve just released negative emotions from my BODY, as well as judgments from my MIND! I have renewed HOPE! My body is strengthened by dumping toxic emotions! I can change! I am NOT trapped by my past! I have a NEW, JOYFUL LIFE!

Thank you for letting me tell you why ENERGY WORK ROCKS!!!

Following My Dreams

Apr30

Do you ever have dreams? Day dreams? Night dreams? Do they ever come true?

I want to share a few of my dreams with you. I’ll start with night dreams, and then day dreams.

Night Dreams that came true

On March 8, 2014, I lived alone in an apartment, and woke from a dream of living in my own home. This very vivid dream showed many people in and out of my home downstairs over time and for various reasons, and then I saw myself writing Christmas cards in my upstairs office. I dreamed that this home was several homes away from friends of mine, on the opposite side of the block from their house. In the dream, the houses were symbolized like Monopoly houses, so I could easily count them and see where my house was from that of my friends.

When I awoke, I remembered a home in that exact location, for sale! On March 21, 2014, I looked through the inside of that house for the first time, and the layout was exactly as in my dream! I immediately made an offer and put down earnest money, as I knew I belonged here.

Now I have lived here nearly a year. People coming and going during that time included piano students and recitals,

Halloween Recital

weekly church choir practices, business meetings, and family and friends. I know I am where I am for a reason, and feel very blessed.

Another night dream occurred March 18, 2015. I dreamed that a friend and I, among others, were eating breakfast with a great business coach at his house. This was on the morning of the first day of a four-day event by this same coach, and the friend in the dream attended with me. On the way to the real event, I spoke with my friend about the dream. I just thought, “I don’t know how THAT would ever happen!”

The fourth day of this event, March 21, 2015, this coach announced that everyone who signed up for his program to promote individual businesses through making weekly videos for three months, would have breakfast at HIS house! Recognizing my dream, I immediately went and signed up for the program! At the back of the room doing paperwork, I thought, “My friend is supposed to be there with me. I wonder if that part will really happen.” Then the coach announced that those who signed up with a friend got a special discount, and my friend came back to sign up with me! We have been making videos for a few weeks now, and on our paths to making Day dreams come true!

Day dreams

What are YOUR Day dreams? Do you write them down? Do you picture what your life will be like when they come true?

My path leads me to get my messages to YOU! To created videos, CDs and books to share what I have learned so that YOU can perhaps avoid some of the pitfalls and grab hold of the hope, habits and systems that helped me. My path of influence makes sense of the injustices of life, and finds their purpose in sharing hard-won lessons. So I speak, blog, and create. I accept my inborn desire to share, write, and teach others the joy that creates a New Joyful Life.

Thank you for joining me on this journey. Many more helpful habits, systems, and healing perspectives follow this post.

Have a blessed day.

~Katherine

P.S. To see some of the videos I’m creating, go to my Facebook page, NEW JOYFUL LIFE.

Where Do You Turn for Healing?

Oct3

Where do you turn for healing? In the last post I mentioned that psychotherapy and personal development helped heal my mind and heart. What about physical dis-ease?

Western medicine can’t be beat for putting people back together after an auto accident or a fall, being burned, or to save premature babies. Expert intervention saves lives, improving the quality of those lives. My daughter’s tumor removal surgery by an expert surgeon extended her years and her quality of life.

Acute medical conditions call for a doctor! Yet even years of scientific study, licensing and practice does not make doctors omnipotent. They still “practice” medicine. Other sources may best help in chronic cases. Reviewing results of traditional medical treatment versus alternative methods for a particular issue may be enlightening.

For example, some in the past put down alternative healers as “quacks,” which I heard doctors of chiropractic called when I was a girl. Now chiropractors are accepted into the mainstream, included on health plans, and respected. I wish they’d been acceptable to my parents when I landed on my chin at ages 3 and 15. A Doctor of Chiropractic may have corrected the curvature of my neck from those accidents, before a vertabra set backwards.

Some people use both traditional and alternative healers. This is the view that I prefer, not one or the other, but whichever is more likely to contribute to healing in that particular instance.

There are also faith healings, such as those by Jesus Christ (Matthew 9:35), performing miracles. After my daughter’s tumor removal, the surgeon came back in complete awe. I’d told him beforehand that many people fasted and prayed for her, and for him. Afterwards he told me that the tumor came out in one piece, peeling off the carefully-monitored nerve to her left arm with NO stress to the nerve. Hundreds of little tentacles relaxed, allowing the entire tumor to be lifted from her chest cavity. Also her father secretly prayed that the doctor would NOT need to cut through her collarbone to access the tumor, which would have caused many more months of healing. The surgeon said he had thought of a way to access the tumor without cutting her collarbone. He co-created a miraculous surgery!

People may have faith but not be healed (see Doctrine and Covenants 42:43), such as the Apostle Paul, who stated that his “thorn in the flesh” was not removed (2 Corinthians 12:7-10). Then the challenge becomes living with the infirmity, or dis-ease. Faith, prayers, and priesthood blessings can help provide comfort, peace, and answers. Pain may be alleviated with medications, herbs, or meditations.

How do you decide where to turn for healing? Different dis-eases may be addressed individually. Is the dis-ease a problem for which traditional medicine can best help? What is the track record of traditional medicine for this dis-ease? Are there other sources for alleviating this particular health crisis? Generally, when different kinds of healers agree, there is more credibility, with greater confidence in the results. Each person may take responsibility for their own health, searching out their own answers. These are some of my views on physical healing, based on my own experiences and knowledge. I hope that someday traditional and alternative healers will work together in harmony for the best interest of the patient, supplying the best of all available care for the particular needs of that individual.

Why I Pursue Personal Development

Oct2

Why do I pursue Personal Development courses, books, seminars? Why invest the time and money? How do they help me fulfill my mission here on earth?

I, like Nephi, “was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father” (1 Nephi 1:1), and then learned in high school and at college while acquiring my bachelor’s degree. In fact, while attending Brigham Young University I learned the AIMS of a BYU Education: “(1) spiritually strengthening, (2) intellectually enlarging, and (3) character building, leading to (4) lifelong learning and service.” Brigham Young said, “Education is the power to think clearly, the power to act well in the world’s work, and the power to appreciate life.” Personal development helps me to be of greater service to my family, friends, community, church, and professionally.

What is Personal Development, anyway? Wikipedia says it is, “activities that improve awareness and identity, develop talents and potential, build human capital and facilitate employability, enhance quality of life and contribute to the realization of dreams and aspirations.” A long Wikipedia list follows of ways personal development can assist a person’s well-being, effectiveness, and contributions.

There are many sources for Personal Development. I enjoy reading good books, going to seminars, and listening to audio recordings of books or talks by, those who practice what I want to learn. Recently I listened to Sonya Lyubomirsky’s THE HOW OF HAPPINESS: A SCIENTIFIC APPROACH TO GETTING THE LIFE YOU WANT.

The 12 recommendations for improving happiness are:

Expressing gratitude
Cultivating optimism
Avoiding overthinking and social comparison
Practicing acts of kindness
Nurturing relationships
Developing strategies for coping
Learning to forgive
Doing more activities that truly engage you
Savoring life’s joys
Committing to your goals
Practicing religion and spirituality
Taking care of your body

Just listening helped me feel happier, as I realized that I control my happiness! I already did so many of these things! I realized these ways to be happier simply put religious teachings into practice, giving me more confidence in the religious views that helped me overcome so much.

One reason I pursue Personal Development is to overcome effects of past abuse and trauma. I find it much more cost- and time-effective than traditional psychotherapy (I’ve used that too, and it has its place). Seminars with activities such as ropes courses, walking barefoot over hot burning coals, and sky diving all helped me to overcome fears and learn that my body can go forward even when the mind is fearful. Getting through the fear, going forward anyway, is powerful in extending my comfort zone. I find a lot of healing in this, and empowerment to know that I am not my past experiences! I have intrinsic and profound worth as a daughter of God.

I am grateful for the Personal Development gained so far, and intend to continue learning, growing, and stretching throughout my life, to become all I can be in fulfilling my mortal mission.

The Importance of Continual Learning

Sep26

NOTE: This is the first of a four-part series answering a question posed to me by a friend. He and I are both members of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-day Saints (LDS), so answers come from scriptures and other LDS sources as noted or linked. Scriptures can be found on lds.org. Further information on LDS beliefs including the Atonement of Jesus Christ can be found on Mormon.org. Today’s introduction introduces segments on Continual Learning, Personal Development, and Healing to be posted next week.

Throughout life, I seek better ways to deal with things, people, and health. A couple years ago I joined a business that encouraged ongoing personal development. Recently, a worried friend wrote this to me:

“I have also been concerned about all the self healing classes and seminars you are going through. I have been personally trying to figure out why anyone needs all that if they are truly centered in the gospel and truly know and have a testimony of the atonement?”

Dear Friend,

I greatly appreciate your concern for me! I see your example and all you overcame through your acceptance of the Atonement of Jesus Christ in your behalf! Your life is transformed through Him!

I reassure you that anything I learn, or hope to learn, is through the filter of His life and love. He is the pivotal focus of my life. Anything I do to better myself or my life is consecrated to Him and His purposes for me.

Part of my testimony is that He continues to give light and life to the world. He gives revelation to His prophets. He inspires people to help their fellowmen. As Proverbs 29:18 states, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”

In Alma 24:14, we read: “And the great God has had mercy on us, and made these things known unto us that we might not perish; yea, and he has made these things known unto us beforehand, because he loveth our souls as well as he loveth our children; therefore, in his mercy he doth visit us by his angels, that the plan of salvation might be made known unto us as well as unto future generations.”

God reveals truth to us, giving light and hope. He asks us to study and seek out learning.

Jesus in John 5:39 tells us to study the scriptures: “Search the scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.”

Further, the Lord in modern revelation asks us to study other good books and subjects, not necessarily from the scriptures. “Teach ye diligently and my grace shall attend you, that you may be instructed more perfectly in theory, in principle, in doctrine, in the law of the gospel, in all things that pertain unto the kingdom of God, that are expedient for you to understand;

“Of things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass; things which are at home, things which are abroad; the wars and the perplexities of the nations, and the judgments which are on the land; and a knowledge also of countries and of kingdoms—

“That ye may be prepared in all things when I shall send you again to magnify the calling whereunto I have called you, and the mission with which I have commissioned you” (Doctrine and Covenants 88:78-80).

Friend, the scriptures witness that everything we can learn helps us to fulfill our mortal missions and serve God more capably, if we choose to serve Him.

Meditation for Healing the Inner Child

Aug7

Listen to your inner child

Are you looking to feel more peace, less stress, and more self-confidence? Healing meditation may be just the thing to regain balance in thoughts and emotions. This is an imagery meditation for healing the inner child.

First, choose a peaceful place where you can be undisturbed and by yourself for a few minutes. Turn off the phone and focus on YOU. A balanced, healthy self is foundational to everything else you do. Think of this as time wisely invested.

Get comfortable, uncross arms or legs to an open position. Your eyes may be open or closed. Relax. Take some deep, slow breaths. Notice your breathing. Breathe more deeply.

Notice your thoughts and emotions. How are you feeling right now? Take another deep breath, and let it out. Continue to breathe deeply and evenly.

Imagine yourself as a very small child, perfect and whole as the day you were born, with pure love for yourself and all those around you. See that loving child carried in your heart, feeling and wanting good things for you and for everyone.

What would that loving inner child tell you about yourself? What good things does your inner child like and admire about you? What do you most admire about this sweet little child? Tell your inner child what you most love about them. What do you miss about being an innocent little child?

Imagine that you ARE this little child. What do you most want to do? As a child, what sounds fun? As an adult, what would your inner child most enjoy doing? What makes you feel alive? Think of this inner child as part of you, close to your heart. What will bring out their joy? Do you have talents or hobbies you’d like to begin or start again?

Imagine being your inner child. Consider how important to this small child physical needs are–good food, water, resting when tired, going outdoors in the sunshine and fresh air, running around to play. See yourself outdoors, doing what you love to do. What physical activities do you most enjoy? See yourself resting or sleeping when tired from a busy, active day. Think of waking–what kinds of foods would make your body feel most alert and alive, healthy and vibrant? What sounds the most delicious? Now see that child as part of you, the adult. Are you honoring the physical needs of your inner child? What does your inner child tell you would give you balance and make you both happy?

Take some deep breaths. Slowly become aware of your surroundings. Take another deep breath. Notice how you feel. Do you feel more calm and serene? Does life seem more promising and inviting? Take a few minutes to write what you learned about yourself and your inner child.

If you would like further assistance in healing meditation and in healing your inner child, please contact me. I am not a therapist. I am experiencing my own healing journey and happily share what helps me.

Recovering from Emotional Child Abuse

Jul30

Did you experience emotional child abuse when you were growing up? Do you carry scars from that which affect you today? Do you worry that you are not “normal” because of what you witnessed or experienced?

As children, we often internalize guilt for what goes on around us, not knowing how to stop nor prevent bad things. We grow up believing that we are somehow deficient, defective, because we experienced horrible events. We feel damaged, wounded.

As we become adults, we may try to feel normal, to act normally. We may even bury the past and try to forget it ever happened, at least the worst parts.

Unfortunately, burying the past does not help us to heal. Pretending bad things never happened does not make us feel “normal” even when we try to get on with our lives. What CAN we do?

I didn’t realize how much my past affected my present until I found myself divorced with three children. Growing up, my father had multiple personalities and I’d compartmentalized “Good Dad” from “Bad Dad.” Only when divorcing did I recognize that my ex-husband also had multiple personalities and I hadn’t known it. I’d dealt with negative clues by explaining them away and forgetting about them. This was how I’d coped as a child, the way my father did, by not acknowledging the bad.

It was only when divorcing that I began to see how much my past was affecting my present. I’d always thought I could be free of the past by marrying a wonderful man and having a beautiful family. I never thought the past would reach out and be part of my future!

The good news was, I finally recognized how horrible the past was. My eyes opened to see the pattern of compartmentalization that started in childhood and continued into adulthood. This was the first step to healing and recovery from childhood emotional abuse: RECOGNIZING it!

The journey towards healing began at that point. Not until I clearly saw and accepted that what happened while I grew up was abuse, and that I was wounded, was I ready to begin the process of recovery.

At first, this scared me. I went through a period of years where I felt defective, scarred, second-class. Relating with others seemed impossible. I didn’t think anyone could understand what my life was like. It didn’t help that I jumped immediately into a difficult second marriage. Yet that was part of the healing, too, as I continued learning about myself and about abuse and recovery.

Where are YOU in your journey of recovery? Have you accepted that what happened to you while you were a child and youth was abuse? Do you recognize false patterns you may have adopted as survival mechanisms when you were but a child?

We’ll continue to explore the journey to healing, wholeness, and fulfillment in further posts. Meanwhile, if you would like personalized assistance on your journey, please contact me. I would love to chat with you about where you are and how I may support your healing.

newjoyfullife

New Joyful Life empowers healing and fulfillment through systems and habits promoting peace and dream creation.